I’m really good at my job. I don’t’ judge my abilities of my profession because I know the most, read more books, or discovered a secret that no one knows about. I have success with my clients because I have the ability to help them deal.
Now, you’re thinking how does helping a chick fit into skinny jeans have anything to do with dealing with anything other than carbs, yoga pants, and cardio? I’ll tell you.
When I began in this industry, I’ll be honest, I sold snake oil and had a great song and dance and you know what? I had a lot of clients, but the dance couldn’t last forever and they would fall off just in enough time to gather a new herd of new clients. I had a discussion once with another trainer and he said “You can’t get personal with clients, it makes it messy”. My first reaction to this was “well that’s complete bullshit”
Life is very messy; people are messy and who the hell was I to think I could ignore that for an hour while I yelled at them to do 5 more reps? Something clicked for me that day when I realized that if I was ever going to truly change lives and help my clients to their goals; I was going to have to get messy with them. We were going to have to deal.
Weight, body image, insecurities; you think that happens overnight and without cause and effect? Absolutely not. There’s a running joke in my industry between trainers that I really don’t like and it’s that women begin personal training when they’re getting married or getting divorced.
I can’t lie; there’s truth to the statement. Sometimes you need a big up or an extreme down to find your middle ground. And more often than not; women find their place next to me when they’re searching for the middle ground. What I have learned is that your middle ground can only be found when you start to deal with above and below it.
I start most of my consultations like this:
What were you doing when you were most happy with your body?
What makes you unhappy about your appearance?
Why are you here?
Normally I get generic versions of “Because I want to be swimsuit ready” or “I was most happy in high school when I was under 100 pounds” Ladies; I’m not going to let you off that easy.
The truth is, you were probably most happy with your body when you were happiest with yourself. What makes you unhappy about your appearance is it’s not what you want; but what you think everyone else expects, and you’re here because your boyfriend dumped you, you cried last time you went swimsuit shopping, and because you cannot stand being “just a bridesmaid” one more time. Like I said, let’s actually look and the cause and effect; let’s deal. You can’t polish up the image in the mirror without cleansing the issues that pushed you there.
Beginning a healthy lifestyle is one of the most empowering things I’ve witnessed on a personal and professional level. I’ve seen broken, fragile women walk into my gym and leave as a lion. I have to add that while on your road to personal success with your body, it can be very easy to project the feelings that got you there in the first place and that is the challenge I want to address.
Improvement external and above all internal. I’m going to be focusing this blog series on the layers that fall between the lines, the ones that are messy; the layers that when revisited can maybe provide insight to how we got here in the first place, and how to find the middle ground, how to deal.
In my journey, I’ve found there are staples that propel us above and the below the middle ground:
Your love for yourself.
Join the challenge with me. I’m pledging to give an unapologetic, insight into my own middle ground, in hopes that maybe when we deal, we can finally heal and surprise the whole world with the lion within us all.