I’m not one to rant. In fact, I like to keep it light, keep it movin, and most of all; nobody’s got time for negative.
So you might be surprised to read this post.
Part of my business is putting myself out there; unapologetically. When you put yourself out there, it gives people the opportunity to share their opinion about your thoughts, your life, and well; you.
So thick skin is part of it and I normally roll with the punches very well I would say, but I’ve been noticing a trend lately between folks…..
As humans, we are very sensitive to our feelings and for the most part, others. Society has outlined what good girls and boys don’t say to one another or even hint at:
- You’re fat.
- You’re broke.
- You’re obnoxious.
- I don’t like your significant other.
- You’re race.
These are the basic outlines, and for the most part, we all follow protocol. We are told not to judge, discriminate, or make fun.
So what I don’t understand, as a society, why we feel like we can judge, discriminate, or make fun of individuals who are doing or living their lives in a different way, that doesn’t fall into the 5 things above?
I’m talking about fit people and why haters gotta hate?
7 ways you might be offending your Fit Friends:
You work out way too much; I think you’re obsessed.
This can go right or left. I know people who love to workout, some would say borderline obsessed. I also know some people that love to sit on a couch, some say slightly obsessive with watching TV. What’s the point here?
Whatever you are, whatever you do; it’s your thing and it’s what makes you happy. There’s always a balance that comes into play when we refer to what others love to do, but I can’t wrap my head around why people think its ok to think going to the gym 6 days a week is a bad thing?
I’ve been addicted to bad influences before
You’re way too skinny.
You’re way to fat.
Never, ever, going to come out of your mouth right? Well, unless you’re a complete A-hole, this is the golden rule in society: do not tell someone they’re fat, so why do others feel like they can say someone is too skinny? The truth is not everyone is TRYING to be skinny, some actually struggle keeping weight on. So while you think that because being skinny isn’t “bad”, it doesn’t make it less offensive to someone. Tall, short, fat, skinny; you should never feel like you can tell someone they’re way “too anything” other than awesome.
I don’t want to lift heavy and bulk up; big muscles are gross.
So this one might be slightly a personal one for me, but I’ve heard it a lot within my trainer community. I’ve spent hours and hours in the gym, busting my butt to put on muscle mass and keep it and believe me; this is not an easy goal.
So every consultation I have, when a woman tells me “I don’t want to lift because I don’t want bulky, dude muscles. I’ll admit I find humor and some slight offense to it and here’s why:
Whoever started the rumor that lifting makes you bulky, seriously needs Chuck Norris round-house kicked in the face; repeatedly. LIFTING WILL NOT MAKE YOU BULKY, unless you strategically diet, train, and kick your ass for months to do it. It WILL MAKE YOU TONE AND REACH YOUR GOALS. So can we just accept, that as women, we can lift and not look like a dude? Done.
Second reason why this statement can offend a fit friend is this: I think muscles are beautiful. I know the story that comes with them and the dedication it takes to get them; they’re medals of boss ladies to me; so when you say muscles are gross, I respect your opinion, but they’re my medals and I and so many other worked our asses off for them.
On a side note girlfriends; I train every style of body under the sun and just because I like big legs or big butts, doesn’t mean I think everyone should look like that. Don’t be afraid of help from someone with a different body than yours; we should all appreciate variety, in all shapes and forms.
When will I look like you/her/that?
It’s your first day on the job. You got your spanking cubicle, computer, and you think it’s time to walk right up to your supervisor and say “So when will I have your job and your salary?”
Would you ever do this? Probably not, but if you would, you are a Boss Lady!
Here’s the deal. Showing up on day 1 of your new workout/diet routine and asking the person who’s helping you when you will look like them or this girl can surprisingly be offensive.
It bypasses the years of work someone has put it to be at the goals they’re at. Fitness and health are not easy fights and it takes some of us years to get it down, so try to refrain from expectations of goals that can take years to build.
Besides, you wouldn’t challenge M.J. to a game of pick up the first day you picked up a basketball?
Getting started is amazing, expecting results; freaking awesome! Just make sure you give respect to your friends that have been in the game hustling.
I’d rather be fat than eat like that.
I’ve been in competition prep for 12 weeks now and I’ve heard this a hundred times probably. I’ve been living this lifestyle, out of choice I might add, for a long time; stuff doesn’t get under my skin really. I love how I live and I don’t try to explain it to anyone anymore, because it’s just a part of me. There was a time when it wasn’t though.
Like so many people starting out fresh on the “healthy train” eating healthy and clean used to be a REAL struggle for me and taking criticism for it used to steer me away from MY goals to fit a previous mold, people knew me for.
What I’m about to say might offend some people, but it’s coming from the most understanding and genuine place, because I used to say the same things.
When you say this to friends trying to do something different to better themselves you are projecting and it’s just not cool.
You wouldn’t rather be fat; no one enjoys feeling that way or worrying about their health, but you’re personally not ready to commit to something like they are. If you’re a good friend, you’ll support their decision and not criticize them for something, you might secretly want for yourself.
I have the most amazing circle around me, that might think I’m nuts, totting around my chicken and veggies, but they don’t judge. They just continue to be my friends. They will never quite understand completely, how thankful I am for that.
How can you live/eat/workout like that?
“The same way you live/eat/not workout in your life.”
Similar to reason 5; different strokes for different folks. Different life styles are a choice; and a personal one, most likely.
Fitness basically saved my life, from a very ugly, dark, place and I really enjoy it. Like the Beatles said, “Let it be”…..It’s just not your thing and its ok.
On the flip side I might add, what is more offensive to me than someone dogging a healthy lifestyle, is someone assuming because they are “fit friends” they can judge someone for their lifestyle.
Fitness doesn’t make you better than anyone; it should just make you healthier for yourself.
We all started somewhere on Day 1; Fit friends should remember that and respect it as well.
C’mon, just take a bite/day off?
This one is a biggie.
Would you offer your friend who is recovering from a drug addiction some crack?
“C’mon, just a little bit of crack. It’s not like it’s going to hurt anything”
YOU JUST OFFERED A DRUG ADDICT CRACK LADY!
So this may seem extreme to some folks, but there are people fighting and clawing every day to stay on track. Temptation isn’t lethal, but its unnecessary if you’re aware of someone’s goals.
I personally have come in contact with people who thought it was fun to mock me while they ate something or wave a bite of cheesecake in my face. Some days I’m mentally tough and I laugh with them, some days though I’ve done nothing but struggle with staying on track and your “act of cheesecake” might be the death of you.
Bottom line: you wouldn’t give drugs to addicts. Don’t temp me with food crack? It’s just not cool.
Most of the time we don’t mean to offend the people we love or care for.
Sometimes feeling are hurt out of misunderstanding or confusion, but I guess the real point I’m trying to make here is acceptance, on any level for one another is vital. Compassion is necessary, but respect for someone is priceless.
Coming from an ex-junk food addict, bulimic, and most un-healthy person on the planet. Be careful who you judge, you never know what your future holds and you could be judging yourself some day.
Work.Hard Lift.Heavy Live.Blessed