In the last week, I’ve repeated this word hundreds of times in my head.
First, I’d repeat it and laugh.
Then I’d repeat it, like an enraged serial killer, and rep out my workout like I was in prison and had 5 minutes of yard time left.
Then I just began repeating it and feeling nothing.
Well it finally happened, last week, I was called a fat ass.
So this is probably where I should give the back story and I’ll try to keep it light.
I feel obligated to share this, but the last couple weeks of my life have been pretty awesome. 2 bikini competitions, 1 reality TV show, and I have 36 clients killing it right now; it’s pretty safe to say, Alysha is having a good July! So it was very surprising, that in all my life, I would be encountering this.
So here’s the thing; in my life, I’ve well, kina been fat before. Well actually I’ve been downright a chunky monkey, and in all that time, I was never called fat- not once.
I can’t lie, I’m at a point in my career, that after a lot of sweat, tears, and well peanut butter/lessons learned…I’m extremely happy with my body. I’m strong, healthy, and feel great. So I kept asking myself, how in the hell can I get called fat now? This person totally missed their “fat ass comment” opportunity, I kept thinking.
When I began training for my last competition, I was coming off of a building season and I, I’ll admit that my body fat was a lot higher than normal.
I ate, I trained my ass off, and all said and done I began my prep at 151 pounds and 18% body fat. In case you’re wondering, that’s a normal suggested weight for most women with my build, but to the bodybuilding world; honey, you big!
Either way, I was happy with my progress in the off-season and started my prep with high hopes and great determination.
I’m going to fast forward to 2 weeks out from my show; I had a laberal hip tear, which caused me to be unable to condition like a normal prep and even though I was now down to 135 and 12% body fat, I decided to not starve, over cardio, or deplete myself….. I was going to do the unthinkable; walk on stage and strut my stuff; all 135 pounds of it.
I didn’t place, I knew I didn’t bring my best package physically, but mentally I was the best I’d ever been! Because for the first time, in a long time, I put my health first, my ego second, and what felt right in my heart above all. I was the happiest 9th place winner you’d ever see!
It is important for me to not parade around with signs, screaming disclaimers on WHY I didn’t win or place top 3 in the show; there wasn’t politics, injuries, bad advice, excuses or anything I needed to bring up, because I won something from this last show that a value can’t be placed on; self-respect.
It just wasn’t my best physical package or the best timing and chain of events during my prep; pretty simple.
I was feeling good and didn’t even mind all the comments that had been made about how much smaller or leaner I was for my last show, then that one comment happened; fat ass.
It doesn’t matter who said it, what context it came from, or how much I respected the person that said it. What matters is that in the fitness industry, or even our society, a healthy, fit girl can be considered a fat ass in some opinions, because she might not have a 6 pack or be under 120 pounds.
This post isn’t about exposing the person that said this. Hell, I can truly say I’m not even mad at them. This post is about when you reach a place of self-acceptance, love for your body, and respect for what you stand for and who stands next to you; you’re truly untouchable.
I will spend the rest of my life fighting against this poison. I won’t hate on these people, I’ll reflect on them, and every single girl I work with, I’ll make sure she knows how amazing and beautiful she is; at any size.
I decided a long time ago to not allow myself to live on excuses or play the victim; this case is no different. When someone hurts you, really cuts you deep, vengeance will not give you peace of mind. Fighting negative with negative will only put you both in a box you can’t get out of.
The fact is I should really be thanking this person. If it were not for situations like this in my life, I would never have the opportunity to truly be kind.
I wanted to share this with all of you because I know I have thick skin, but other girls may not, and that’s totally ok to be offended when someone hurts you, but what I want every girl reading this to know is that in life, there really aren’t haters, there are only people who motivate you to be better than what they think you are.
When I really began to think about it; I’ve been called great things in my life and I’ve been called some pretty harsh ones too; getting upset about being called fat is pretty low on the list of “hard shit that happened to Alysha in her life”.
So you guys are probably wondering what I did next then huh?
I did what any boss lady would do. I thanked the person who called me a fat ass, smiled ear to ear, and kept steppin.
Because little does that person know, a fire was just lit inside me that’s incredible. It doesn’t burn to prove something, change who I am to please them, or knock them down.
It burns for something far more powerful than any of those things. It gives me another reason to push forward and help others on the way up.
I will give you one disclaimer though. Someday, there will be a time, even for a short moment, when I’m on top and it will really suck for that person to have to look up and remember the day they called that chick “a fat ass”.
Work. Hard. Lift.Heavy. Live. Blessed.